Author:Krista Sparlin

Where to start… what to say… how to put into words the complexity and depth of a woman’s heart shaken by war as the man dearest to her heart leaves to sacrifice it all for his country… for his loved ones.

A hole… a bottomless pit of fear, loss, love, and anticipation. The urge to stay stead fast… to endure what ever is thrown her way. Whether it be life or death. For the sake of her loved one… for the sake of her own sanity. Pressure to resist tears… to continue on as if nothing has changed. Self reassurance that at times is seemingly impossible. A silent hope… a prayer answered in time… he’ll come back.

At times your heart sinks… every tear representing a different fear…the worse case scenario… pushing yourself to prepare. Then a light… he called…he emailed… a letter baring his signature… a piece of him in the simplest form making a big impact.

I will stare at his picture until my eyes are blurry… I have felt so lonely for his embrace I’ve hugged myself. I dream of his smile… I imagine the warmth of his body. I anticipate that 2nd 1st kiss… I can hear his laugh. I hope for his safety every day… from the moment the sun rises to the moment it sets… pushing the envelope between what will be and what I want.

There’s nothing war can bring that will make me stop loving you. I’m here, like you, willing to sacrifice a days joy, a days security that can only be felt in your arms. Days spent kissing you, days spent sharing laughter and creating memories. Days sacrificed for months to come… irreplaceable “time”.

I’m always with you… my heart couldn’t allow it to be any different. Come home soon!

My name is Krista. I’m 28 years old, born and raised in California. I’ve had an on, off connection with the military since I was 18 years old. My better half is in the Army, currently deployed to Iraq. He’s been my best friend, boyfriend and rock for 3 years. My submission is a in-depth look into my heart. It is my way of releasing my most inner fears and connecting with those who may share in them. I’d like to share my piece in hopes of touching a soul, bringing a sigh of hope, and reminding my fellow ladies they are not alone.

Last update : 08/11/2008 07:42 AM

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