While I'm writing this blog, I find it funny I still do the same things to fill the void. After the question of "what should I expect?" comes the question of "how am I going to do this?" And I hate to disappoint, but everyone is different. How you survive separations (without wanting your hair out) comes from experience. In all reality it never gets any easier to say good bye to him (or her), the truth is you get stronger and are therefore better able to go into periods of separation with a clear and level head.

The first time my husband left (not counting boot camp) I was a mess. I cried, I curled up in a ball, and about an hour later, thought... What the heck am I doing? I can't just sit around and do nothing with my life, I also can't just make time stop until he came home (even if I wanted to).

So to fill my void I found new hobbies. I started knitting, I started crocheting, I reignited my passion for graphics, etc. If you're going through a separation and find yourself with lots of spare time, find a hobby! Do that one thing you've always wanted to learn but felt you didn't have time to do. Or reignite your passion for something and just do it.

To fill the void, I have my own little "first night" ritual. I get some take out, chat with my friends over a glass of wine, and feed chick flicks into the dvd player all night. Even if that's not your particular cup of tea maybe you should consider setting up your own little routine. Routines are great for helping you get yourself back on track without getting too down about it all, call it a minor distraction.

To be very honest, the void is never completely filled. When he (or she) leaves, your loved one takes a piece of you along for the ride. Part of filling the void involves understanding that a part of you goes wherever your loved one goes. And that it’s okay to have good days and bad days. Keeping busy helps to make the time go by faster and before you know it, your service member is on his or way home!

So that’s my experience with trying to fill the void. Got your own? Feel free to comment and add your thoughts!

Last update : 12/27/2008 09:02 PM

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