Lately I've been running across lots of girls who are dealing with initial boot camp separation. While I know as time goes on for many the initial boot camp separation seems like a fresh sign of relief, some of us have been there before... And yes, It is tough at first. But you can do it! Here are some tips that I found useful while trying to get through boot camp separation.

1. Don't expect the letters. Letters are great, but they don't come for a few weeks and sitting near your mailbox and them not coming just hurts more. If you're not expecting them, getting them is almost like a pleasant surprise and it just brightens your day!
2. Try to write every day. Yup, it's true! Writing every day is somewhat of a double goodie for you and your service member. My husband had told me reading about what I was doing made him feel as though he was with me every day even though he physically wasn't there. By writing every day you'll get to see what you do on a daily basis and prove to yourself that yes, you want him (or her) with you but you can certainly carry on your own life as well.
3. Make plans to go out to dinner (or any meal) with your friends once a week, or go out by yourself. While he was off training to save the world I often felt as though I was just sitting around and waiting... Why wait? Just because your service member is away doesn't mean you should cut yourself off from the rest of the world. Getting out once a week will help keep you in check and not let you drown in sadness.
4. Don't push everyone away. It's easy to sit there and say your "civilian" friends don't understand, they don't get it, you're all alone. But really all you're doing is isolating yourself. You can't just label everyone as "not understanding" and push them away because you're sad. Some will understand, some won't, you just have to realize that people who don't live your life won't feel the same way you do. On top of that seeing, who can throw the bigger pity party isn't very conducive to a happy life either. You'll have good days and bad days, it's natural.
5. Don't have initial Military Sweetheart friends? Make some. Find a forum, find a group, friends of friends, friends of family, anything! When my husband was off in boot camp I often felt lost, I didn't know how any of it worked I didn't know what was going on, everything was just confusing. Sometimes it's good to ask someone who's been through it all and ask some basic questions. Don't want to ask? Google is great for answers as well.
6. Stay positive. Boot camp separation isn't forever, trust people when they tell you that you're going to be okay.
7. Don't stress about things you can't control. The Military is great at throwing curve balls at you, and knowing this... Why bother getting upset about things you can't control? Just roll with the punches and believe in yourself that you can adapt to situations. Trying to control everything will only make you feel more helpless, instead control the things you can control such as your schooling, daily life, etc. You don't have to drop your entire world just because you love someone in the Military.
8. Prepare for your relationship to change and do your best to adapt. Your service member may come out totally the same, or sometimes he or she can be a little different. As one of my close friends described it "... he (or she) can be different, more grown up, serious, and more independent..." Allow your service member to adjust and allow yourself to adjust and adapt to these changes.
9. Get a hobby, a job, something to pass the time. I was in college at the time and worked weekends at an office and while that took care of most of my time I still had some gaping holes that needed to be filled. Need some ideas for hobbies? Check out my previous post: Separation Survival: Hobbies.
10. Just breathe. You'll be alright, before you know it you'll be with your service member again!

Have a few more tips? Feel free to comment and add some of your own!

Last update : 08/18/2008 07:51 AM

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