A friend of mine, Row, was asking me the other day to write about my own personal experiences with regard to how I dealt with my husband enlisting in the Navy. While I struggled a great deal to write about it, since it really is different for everyone, I hope you will considering leaving your own comments with your own experiences for new comers to the Military Life. I am, by no means, and expert or a very well seasoned Navy Wife, I often seek help from others who are more experienced than me. I hope by sharing my stories with you all it will help to remind you that we are all learning and "serviving" together. This is the first in my new series of writings called Military Uncertainty.

My story begins with my husband (then fiance) trying to talk to me about the Navy. I was 19 at the time and honestly terrified. I couldn't fathom days, nights, months, etc. without him! How could I do it? When it was for sure he was joining I hopped online and found a couple Military Support Groups and proceeded to ask the first and most obvious question: What should I expect?

Looking back on it I'm so grateful for all the wonderful women I've met along the way who tried to delicately answer my question. Their responses ranged from the objective "here's a breakdown of their boot camp weeks" to "expect anything and everything." The truth is, all of those responses are right. A girlfriend of mine once told me "it's really only what you make of it." So to answer the question, expect sometimes long nights, sometimes long days in general, some separation time, good days, and bad days... Expect to find friendly people and sometimes not so friendly people. Expect to hurry up and wait a lot and lots of stand by(s)...Expect to appreciate the little things that you once may have unintentionally taken for granted.

Ah taking things for granted. He used to drive me nuts with the way he threw his jeans all over the couch and leave them on the bed. The first day he left, it hit me so hard to not see his jeans there anymore (since we packed everything up). Amazingly you will miss the little (sometimes annoying) things. Every time I don't see his jeans on my couch (due to some sort of separation) I just tell myself "what's a couple months/weeks to a lifetime? Really just a blip on the screen."

It may seem daunting at first, after all sometimes it's a lot to really swallow. But through joining the Military Community you learn a lot about yourself. You'll learn how capable you are of adapting to situations, expect to learn how to pack really well, expect to maybe spend a couple important holidays without your loved one. But most of all, expect that you really can do it. There might be days you cry, and (in my case) feed endless rounds of chick flicks into the DVD player... And you'll come to learn hey! It's all okay, afterall everyone copes differently.

Your experience with the Military Lifestyle will truly be only what you make of it. If you jump on in with an open mind and an open heart you may experience some difficulty at first, and some fear, but you will come to discover that as long as you're patient and willing to make a few sacrifices everything will work out. And while you'll have your bad days, they are simply that, bad days. And the beauty of days is, when you wake up in the morning, you can begin anew.

That's it for what to expect stop by next time for my story on how I filled the void of time when he left. Until next time, happy browsing!

Last update : 09/14/2008 10:20 PM

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